morningroutine

I look at us in the mirror this morning
and I tell myself I'll remember this
I'll commit this moment to memory
because it's worth holding on to
(which is why I'm writing it down)

we look so typical this morning
getting ready for our days
standing together at the bathroom sink
she doesn't know I'm watching her

I've traded the blow dryer for the curling iron
attempting to add life to hair that is too fine
she's running gelled hands through her hair
taming the mane that is monthly thinned
it strikes me how unfair this is

I lean forward, applying mascara
and notice how firm my breasts look
in the sheer bra she bought me for Christmas
she's brushing vigorously at her teeth now
gray sports bra concealing the loathsome breasts
that continue to grow
because they don't understand
how uncomfortable they make her
she doesn't know how much I love them

I smooth lotion onto my face
with slender graceful fingers
as she uses her wide strong hands
to turn off the faucet, open the cabinet door

I run my hands over the front of my dress pants
debating the need for a once-over with the lint brush
she fastens her belt around her hips
on which is slung a pair of men's khakis
that would slip right off my small frame
even with her belt cinched to its tightest

I change my earrings to match the shirt I plan to wear
run a hand casually through my carefully styled hair
(it mustn't *look* like I spent time on it)
and stare unabashedly at her reflection
watching her frown at the full hair she hates
admiring her muscular shoulders and thick biceps
till she notices my gaze and smiles shyly

I reach for my perfume
and she for her cologne
and we retreat to opposite corners of the small bathroom
to spray ourselves

so I don't head to class smelling woodsy and strong
and she won't end up at work
wearing the scent of flowers and soft musk
we hold our breath and grin at each other
racing out of the bathroom
before the fumes become overpowering

Medomaiden